Fall is the best. The leaves turn vibrant colors, the air is crisp, and it’s completely acceptable to beg for candy on a neighbor’s front porch. What’s even better? The adventures in kids costumes for Halloween. Sure, the drama in their acquisition rivals a Black Friday at the local Wal-Mart. But, it’s tradition. What better way to celebrate a holiday tradition than to stuff your loved ones into a bunch of polyester and parade them around the neighborhood?
The First Halloween
The first baby means the first time trick-or-treating. The grandmas call and ask “What’s the baby going to wear?” There’s even a choreographed meeting time in which the adorable babe, who can’t even independently navigate the stoop, will “scare” his poor grandparent who has answered the door. The entire candy basket it handed over and every moment of the encounter has been recorded and posted on FB before heading back down the driveway.
The selecting of the perfect Halloween costume takes weeks. The costume should reflect his personality yet be so cute that everyone who sees him will “oooh” and “awww” over. Several different options are ordered so that the costume can be hand selected to meet the highest quality and safety standards. In scenes reminiscent a bridal dress selection tv show, there are modeling sessions in which spectators, usually a slightly uninterested husband, give their opinions on the options provided. Once an item is selected, a second is kept on hand in the event and 11th hour diaper explosion derails the lead costume.
Adventures in Kids Costumes for Halloween: Siblings
The second child arrives but the grandparents are still expecting the same parade. The budget is a little tighter so a friends’s cow hand-me-down that’s a little bit big meets the cuteness requirement. Unfortunately, it’s the night before and you realize the child #1 was born in the opposite season as baby #2. Therefore, the super cute costume purchased that was about to make it’s encore debut goes by the wayside. Lions and cows probably don’t make good companions anyway. This is also foreshadowing of their relationship. (Link)
Next issue, the baby can’t event hold the pumpkin bucket much less eat the candy. Why are we doing this again?! Hold up. Second thought, Mommy can eat the candy. Nursing mothers pass nutrition onto their infant. Therefore, taking a six-week-old trick or treating now makes TOTAL sense. Let’s do this.
Speaking of milk, how about we represent the dairy industry? Cows make milk so why not have a quart of moo juice as a sidekick. Even though child #1 is a boy, and technically a bull, we’re going to run with it. Important agricultural lesson for the day, DON’T try to milk a boy cow. Only lady cows make milk. A whole whopping $1.50 in felt later, we have coordinating costumes. Mom for the win!
Mom Forgot this Year
There’s no excuse. Mom just forgot. The sitter looks up and says, can’t wait to see what they are going the party tomorrow. Party? What party? Panic strikes and the sign up list for treats, that has likely been on the board for at least six weeks, is glaringly missing a few key names. Ugh. Looks like a trip to the local Wal-Mart.
Clever product placement means that the green and orange iced cookies are just around the corner from the costume aisle. Maybe one trip down the row will reveal one or two gems for a 3 year and 1 year old? The place is a zoo. After about three steps it’s evident the only things left are sidekicks and slasher masks. Not that it’s bad to be a Robin to somebody’s Batman, it just should cost a few bucks less.
Looks like we’re going to have to go with “homemade”. A quick stroll through Pinterest “DIY Halloween Costumes” reveals that there’s not enough time or hot glue to make this work. Frustration is rising and the time left to pull this off is fading. The next few hours aren’t pretty. Drawers are upended, words are spoken that should never be repeated, and desperation sets it. Suddenly, a Superman onesie surfaces on top of the pile. In lieu of spandex, a red flannel and a pair of discarded glasses will surely make this one year old look like he can pick up a car in his diaper.
Now, what to do with #1? Rifling through another pile, a poncho and sombrero from a cousin who recently moved to San Diego seems to radiate from amongst the chaos. What about Ponco Villa?! In recognition that the historical figure touted a a few too many firearms for a four-year old, the arsenal is swapped out for a set of maracas. Revolutionaries have to kick back sometime, right? His eye-liner mustachio is so on point that I just. Can’t. Stop. Laughing.
Mom Overcompensated this Year
It’s cyclical. The years of famine are often followed by years of plenty. Why? Because now they REMEMBER. It starts with a “Hey Mommy, can I get a REAL costume this year?” Go ahead, turn the crank a little tighter. There might be a few more drops of mommy-guilt left to get squeeze out.
The day after the 4th of July, when the stores bust out all the fall decor, the minions make a b-line straight for the Halloween aisle. The little historians also recount the deprivation of “official costumes” repeatedly until mom finally caves. The pocket book is opened and the little darlings are released into the wild-aisle.
Ironically, they always pick the same costume. Always. A brawl ensues, dirty looks are given by fellow store patrons, and the consequence is always “Pick or Mommy picks for you.” (The effect is more dramatic when a horrifically tacky stuffed unicorn number is waved around to exhibit other available options). In the end, it’s a superhero. But do they look cute? Always.
Adventures in Kids Costumes for Halloween: Puns
The T-Rex’s running down the middle of a crowded city sidewalk? The thought strikes fear in the heart of anyone who’s seen Jurassic Park during their formative developmental years. Inflatable T-Rex’s running down the middle of a city sidewalk? Hilarious! Who cares that they cost more than a week of daycare? They are viral internet gold! The only drawback? They don’t come in toddler sizes. This is totally understandable as it’s essentially a dinosaur shaped plastic bag with a battery pack. Those types of items are generally frowned upon as playthings for the two and under crowd.
Child #3 is a girl. *T-Rex’s are girls too, just watch Ice Age.* Child #3 also likes pink and cute animals. Why wouldn’t she pick out the fluffy pink one? Important agricultural lesson for the day, Piglets and pigs that are cute. Hogs, aka big pigs, not so much. So, here we are… two animals that are a couple of Crustaceous periods apart. What’s the connection, where’s the theme?! Wait! I’ve got it… Jurassic Pork!
Hope you’ve enjoyed the ride! What’s been your favorite kids costume adventure?